Intriguing Tales of a Face In the Crowd

Every year that passes, I've noticed that, culturally, it becomes easier and easier to point out all that was negative over the last 365 days. I am exceedingly guilty of this. "This year was horrible! I'm ready for a new year," or something to that effect is heard nearly as often as "Good morning!" or "How are you?" this time of year. The stretch from Christmas Eve to today, December 31st, 2023, has been what I've repeatedly referred to as a 'slog' for me, emotionally. Slog is defined as a spell of difficult or tiring work or traveling, and that's what this last week has felt like. Swaying like a clock pendulum back and forth between bouts of hyper-sadness to a lack of anything existing inside my chest aside from tissue, blood, and organs, I slogged through the week. I struggled between not wanting to see the face of another human being, and being so desperate for company. I was moody and erratic in my disposition around those I con...

Today is an anniversary. It's an anniversary of something that I let slip away, but I'm doing okay with it oddly enough. Marking time. Anniversaries are interesting because simply put, they are moments that pass through our lives, but for a variety of reasons, these special dates have meaning. Sometimes they're reminders of joy, a renewal of commitment and affection, and other times they're sobering and solemn. Growing up I always associated the word 'anniversary' with happy times, but as I've grown older I realize the level of gravity that word actually has. It can mean happy times, but it seems as we move through life and slowly weigh ourselves down with experience the word itself becomes heavier. We begin to attach deeper experiences to that word, both good and bad, and it almost changes meaning and becomes a word that is difficult to recognize.  I struggled to be present, to open myself fully, and because I failed them, I failed myself as well. Like two ...